Summer job blog

In addition to my slightly freakish diary, I also write in a tumblr devoted to stories from my summer job. My summer job is located in my hometown which could be referred to as "bumblefuck" because that's how faw away from anything significant it is. My hometown is small, and relentlessy hick. I work at the only store that sells beer, lotto tickets and donuts. We also have a can return, so that's a major drawing point as well. My job forces me to be in direct contact with the seedy hick underbelly of my town, so therefore I thought it'd be a good idea to chronicle the hilarious stories from the store I refer to in the blog as "The Happy Farmer" (for security reasons I don't use the real store name). Here is an excerpt from the happy farmer tumblr, I thought it was a good example because it includes a hillbilly man and also an example of my mistaken gender (I have short hair and am also a girl, which throws a lot of the customers for a loop):

Raymond
This story starts with a phone call. I was working behind the counter and picked up the ringing phone. What sounded like a 60 something hillbilly woman’s voice came through the receiver, “Do ya sell booklets a’lottery tickets down there?”. On rare occasions specific idiots like to blow a load of their cash on an entire booklet of lottery tickets in hopes that they might win the grand prize. I was familiar with this type of request and knew the answer, “Yes we do.” The voice responded, “Oh alright, what kind’a 1 dollar lottery ticket booklets ya got?”. I swiftly checked in the lottery cupboard, “Take five, just a buck, awesome aces and lucky sevens.” The voice rested in contemplation….. “Ya I’ll have a booklet of uh, awesome aces… How much money is that gunna be?” I responded “250 dollars”. She said ” Oh alright, yeah 250 well I’m gunna send Raymond down to get ‘em.” Then I heard some other old people hillbilly voices in the background confirming that raymond would be the one to go. She said he’d be there in 5 minutes, although it was not necessary for me to know how long or the fact that his name was raymond in order to sell them this booklet of lottery tickets. I turned to my coworker and told her about raymond and how he was coming to buy a booklet of lottery tickets. She said “who the hell is raymond?” and as if on cue, an old hillbilly man with a snaggle tooth steps up to the counter and says “uhhh hi my name’s raymond, there was a phone call about uh booklet a lottery tickets.” Instantly my coworker started work on preparing the booklet. I resumed sweeping in the background in front of the donut case. Raymond called out to me ” Boy! Young boy! Are you working boy? I need a dozen donuts!.” I swiftly got out a donut box. He yelled “Just fill it up!”. So i set off to work filling up raymond’s donut box as a large line of customers started to form behind raymond and his elaborate requests. As I put in 2 boston creme donuts raymond yelled at me “I DON’T WANT THOSE. I DON’T WANT THOSE. NO PLAIN ONES.” I told him they were boston creme and then he settled back down. Finally after ringing out raymond’s 250 dollar lotto booklet, dozen donuts, and cashing in some of his own personal lottery tickets he left and the line of customers slowly shortened. I turned to my coworker when it was all over and said “That was Raymond.” 


So If you found this interesting and want to read more stories from my summer job follow me on tumblr here:
The Happy Farmer Chronicles